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Letting Go
by Melody Beattie
Few things can make us feel crazier
than expecting something from someone
Few things can frustrate us more
than trying to make a person
someone he or she isn’t;
we feel crazy when we try to pretend
that person is someone he or she is not.
We may have spent years negotiating
with reality concerning particular people
from our past and our present.
We may have spent years trying to get
someone to love us in a certain way,
when that person cannot or will not.
It is time to let it go.
It is time to let him or her go.
That doesn’t mean we can’t love
that person anymore. It means
that we will feel the immense relief
that comes when we stop denying
reality and begin accepting.
We release that person to be
who he or she actually is.
We stop trying to make that person
be someone he or she is not.
We deal with our feelings and walk
away from the destructive system.
We learn to love and care differently
in a way that takes reality into account.
We enter into a relationship with that
person on new terms -
taking our needs and ourselves into account.
If a person is addicted to alcohol,
other drugs, misery, or other people,
we let go of his or her addiction;
we take our hands off it.
We give his or her life back.
And we, in the process, are given our life
and freedom in return.
We stop letting what we are not getting
from that person control us.
We take responsibility for our life.
We go ahead with the process of loving
and taking care of ourselves.
We decide how we want to interact with
that person, taking reality and our own
best interests into account.
We get angry, we feel hurt, but we
land in a place of forgiveness.
We set him or her free, and we
become set free from bondage.
Today, I will work at detaching
from troublesome people in my life
I will strive to accept reality
in my relationships.
I will give myself permission to take
care of myself in my relationships,
with emotional, physical, mental,
and spiritual freedom for
both people as my goal.
